Haven't written much lately- I haven't been in a great place these past two days and I have no one to blame but myself.. which sucks even more. I made decisions that unfortunately weren't the right ones and because of this- I'm dying inside. I should have walked away a long time ago, ignored the calls, ignored the pleas, ignored the lies. But I didn't, and now I sit here, shell shocked not knowing how I got to this place. The truth always comes out and I think that's something everyone should realize, it always catches up to you. Karma is real and proven and when you place so much hurt and pain on someone for no reason, just selfish reasons, know that you will be paid back for it, in more ways than one. My thinking right now is a little irrational, but I cant act on emotion, I have to think about consequences and I am so much better than that. I know better. I haven't slept for two days straight, my tummy is getting bigger and bigger and vacation cant come soon enough. Come Thursday I will be in a better place- physically/emotionally. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I'm just not sure how many more beatings I have to take for this to be all over. . This whole situation is gross- disgusting-repulsive.
1 comments:
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know exactly what you are going through and what you are feeling and I know it sucks. I know it hurts like hell right now. I know your heart feels like it's been shattered to little tiny pieces. I know what it is to not sleep. But I promise you this, this too, shall pass. It will take time. But it will. Promise. As soon as you get back, call me and we'll get together. Even if it's just for coffee. xoxoxo
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